Under Amber Light
A letter to Irina, and the soft miracle of being seen, touched, and remembered.
Irina,
We only met twice, but I think about you often. What you showed me—on your phone, in your stories, in the way you moved through the world—made something very clear: you are an enigma.
Not just beautiful, but alive in a way that few people allow themselves to be. You embody something I deeply admire.
And though I can’t quite live like that myself—not with my neurodivergent wiring—I carry your spirit like a soft light inside me.
And, I just want to say this...
The biggest and most excruciatingly beautiful moment of my life was when you held up a mirror to me for the first time, and made me feel human.
Made me feel like I exist. Made me feel like a man. Made me feel... alive.
It was in your simple gesture of looping your arm through mine as we walked side by side with our footsteps echoing off the concrete and those warm, amber lights passing overhead.
It was in your offering of being seen with me—someone who had been rejected their entire life. Someone who has always been made to feel like a joke.
A nuisance.
A fly in the room, buzzing and unwelcomed.
No amount of words or sentences can describe what you gave me that day—more than a lifeline, more than a reason to go on living.
Just... thank you from the bottom of my heart and allowing me to heal one step at a time.
The echoes of those footsteps shared, along with their impact have never left me, giving company to be the best version of myself daily. Despite any challenges faced.
Only dementia could take away the memories of what you had given me with our time spent together.
And still, even now, when I walk beneath amber lights on quiet streets, I feel the soft ghost of your arm against mine—like a quiet reminder that I was once touched, once seen, once whole.
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Thank you.
- Søren Vale
Felt Truths exists because of Ирина. She saw me before I believed I could be seen.